Sunday School
by Little Miss Lovejoy
Summary: While the reverend (along with Ned and other men of the town) are away to a football game, Mrs. Lovejoy gets worried because the children wouldn't have their Sunday school.


A/N: This is a little something I wrote as another sideplot to the "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday" episode (You know, the one where Homer takes a bunch of guys to the football game? Even Rev and Ned?) I wondered what the Flanders and Lovejoy families were up to while the men were gone. So I wrote this!

* * *

"Ugh, Tim, I can't believe you are going to a football game on a Sunday!"

"Helen, we are not discussing this anymore," Tim turned over and shut his eyes, not wanting to speak on the matter any further.

His wife, however, was not finished. She sat up, scooting closer to her husband and shoving on him. "But Tim! Without you, there is no church. Without church—" she gasped. "What if we go to Hell?!"

Tim sighed sharply. "Helen, if you're so intent on going to church, why don't you have your own?"

"Hmm, that's an idea."

"Alright. Will you please go to sleep now?"

Helen smiled, leaning over to kiss her husband's lips before telling him goodnight and turning over on her own side to sleep. But she couldn't really sleep; no—she was much too excited about her plans for the following day.

* * *

"So, Mom, what are going to do today since church is cancelled?" Jessica came into the kitchen for breakfast, smiling with hopes of something interesting to happen.

Helen set her daughter's breakfast plate in front of her and smiled. "After breakfast, we are going over to the Flanderses for Sunday school."

Jessica groaned, disappointed. "Ugh, do we have to?"

Helen's eyes widened slightly. "Yes, we do have to, Jessica."

"Of course Mrs. Flanders would come up with such an idea," Jessica slid down a bit in her chair, poking at her food with her fork. She was not too enthused about the idea. She had been looking forward to a relaxing Sunday off from church.

"It was not Mrs. Flanders idea, Jessica. It was my idea. While I can't do anything about what the grown ups choose to do on their Sunday off, I want to be sure that the children have their Bible education. It is very important."

Jessica rolled her eyes slightly and sighed, muttering in a mocking way, "Of course, the children. . ."

Helen put her hands on her hips with a frown. "Jessica Lovejoy! Finish your breakfast. I am going to call the other parents and try to round up some more children for our class."

* * *

Much to her disappoint, Helen found that none of the parents were willing to send their child to their Bible class. The last mother was her only hope, and in her opinion, was the one whose children needed the most help anyway. She dialed up the Simpson household and Marge answered.

"Marge Simpson! I have a question for you."

An irritated murmur could be heard. "What is it, Helen?"

"Oh, don't be so negative, Marge! For once, I'm not calling to insult anyone or to gossip! I want to help you!"

"Help me do what?"

"Well," the woman chuckled, "I suppose it is not so much helping _you_ as it is your children. You are beyond help, I'm afraid, dear!"

"Get to the point, Helen," Marge said through gritted teeth.

"Well, you know how church is cancelled this morning since _my Timothy_ decided to go off to that awful ball game instead of fulfilling his duties as minister? Well, Maude and I are conducting a Sunday school for the children at her house, and I wondered if you would let your kids come over and join us?"

"Well, I don't know, Helen. . ."

"Oh, come on, Marge! Are you concerned about your children or not? They need this!"

"I would feel better knowing they went to Sunday school. . . But Bart isn't here! He went with the boys to the game."

"Well, send Lisa over! That hellion son of yours is probably far from help anyway."

Marge murmured irritably again before agreeing to send Lisa causing Helen to smile proudly.

* * *

"Yay, Sunday school!" Rod and Todd exclaimed in unison as their mother was fixing their ties for them.

"This will be fun having it at home," Todd commented.

"And Mommy will be our teacher!" Rod added excitedly.

"Now don't be surprised if Mrs. Lovejoy takes over, boys," Maude told them. She knew Helen liked power in all senses, and she was prepared to let her do everything if she had to. She knew how she could get when she did not get her way, and it was best to avoid that.

Lisa arrived a few minutes later and sat quietly on the couch, wanting to get this over with. She wasn't really looking forward to having Sunday school in this way. When the door opened, all awkward silence was penetrated by Helen's voice. "I'm here!"

"Oh, good, we can get started!" Maude beamed seeing her best friend walk into the house.

When Jessica walked in from behind her mother and sat in a chair beside Lisa, she sighed a little. "Oh, look, it's the girl who ratted me out."

Lisa crossed her arms. "Oh, look, it's the girl who stole the boy I liked."

Jessica raised her eyes. "How was I supposed to know you liked him? Besides," she flipped her hair. "If you want a boy, you have to know how to get his attention. You can't just stay in the shadows!"

Lisa growled a little with clenched fists. "Sweet minister's daughter, my foot."

Jessica closed her eyes for a moment. "Why bring my father into this?"

"Why not? You always do."

"Oh, Lisa," Jessica spoke in a quiet voice. "Little miss perfect.' You have to try _so _hard, but I don't have to try at all."

Something about how Jessica said that sent chills down Lisa's spine, and she could not hold back any longer. She had had it with Jessica Lovejoy. She had not only hurt her but her brother, as well, and that was enough to make her unable to stand the girl. "That's _it!_" Lisa exclaimed, lunging at Jessica, knocking her to the ground. She started to hit the girl in the stomach once. "That is for insulting me!" She hit her once more. "And that one is for my brother!"

Helen screamed, running over instantly and retrieving her daughter. Maude held Lisa back with wide eyes, completely confused. "What on earth is going on?" Helen asked.

Jessica looked up at her mother, her eyes welling with tears. "I didn't do anything! Lisa just started insulting me and then suddenly lunged at me. It was terrible!"

Helen pulled her daughter close and stroked her hair. "Oh, you poor dear! Lisa, that was not nice at all. Go stand in the corner!"

Lisa laughed a little. "What am I? Five?"

Maude took Lisa by the hand and led her over to the corner. "In this house, we do _not_ hit! I know you come from a family who thinks differently, but hitting is wrong."

Lisa's eyes widened, and she put her hands on her hips. "I beg your pardon, Mrs. Flanders, but if you think my family promotes violence, you are wrong!"

Maude knelt beside the girl and put her hand on her shoulder. "Lisa, it's okay. We know how your father handles your brother, and contrary to what you may think, that is not the way to treat your children—or anyone."

Lisa murmured irritably, clenching her teeth together. "You have got to be kidding me!" She threw her hands in the air. "Of course it's not the way to treat anyone! Do you think I am stupid? You don't understand me or my family at all so stop judging us!"

"Maude," Helen sung out after making sure her daughter did not have any injuries. "Let's get our class started!"  
"Can Mommy read us a Bible story, Mrs. Lovejoy?" Rod asked from the couch, where he sat holding hands with his little brother. They were slightly shaken up from the previous scene but were ready to hear a Bible story.

Helen smiled to the boys. "I think that is a good idea. Your mother has a nice reading voice."

Maude blushed slightly. "Alright, if that is what you all want, I will read you a story. Which shall we read?"

* * *

After the story was read, Lisa was allowed to come out of her time out. Helen began asking questions about the reading, wanting to test the children on how well they had been listening. Maude was ready with stickers for the children who got correct answers. By the end of the questions, Rod, Todd, and Jessica had a significant amount of smiley face stickers on their faces, while Lisa had none. "Oh, Lisa, were you not listening to the story?" Maude asked, concerned. She could understand not knowing general Bible trivia but not to know answers to questions from something that was just read was concerning to her.

Lisa pursed her lips. "I'm sorry, I could not hear the story over your complete ignorance for me and my family."

Maude gasped, and Helen scowled. She grabbed the sticker book from Maude, finding a special one just for Lisa, sticking it to her forehead. "You get a frowny face," she said simply.

"Oh, darn," Lisa commented quietly.

Helen also proposed they sing a few songs, with her leading them, of course. The Flanders boys were very enthusiastic in their singing, even clapping as they sang. Lisa, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. She sang, bored, hardly putting effort into it, and in the end, ended up flopping over backwards on the floor and sighing, "Can I go home now?"

"Oh, fine!" Helen rolled her eyes. "We didn't want you in Heaven, anyway."

Lisa let out a short laugh as she walked away. "If I go to Hell, it will be much nicer than being in this 'classroom.'" She stopped and turned around, nodding politely to Mrs. Flanders. "Good day!"

"Wait, Lisa!" Maude stood up, hurrying into the kitchen and back. "I baked early this morning. Why don't you take some of these home with you?" She handed her a baggy of treats.

Lisa was well used to the gesture from the woman, and was also well aware that the treats inside were most likely sugar-free and in her opinion, disgusting. It was one thing to be healthy, but sheesh! She knew her mother would most likely throw them in the trash, but she smiled to the woman and thanked her before leaving the house.

Once Maude sat back down in the living room, Helen said, "Collection plate time!"

Maude's eyes widened. "Helen, you're joking, right?"

"No," Helen frowned. She then sighed. "Oh, it was worth a try, wasn't it?"

Maude frowned, shaking her head. She knew very well what her best friend was up to. It was bad enough that a lot of her husband's paycheck went to the Lovejoys through the collection plate every Sunday, but her husband was not here, and this was not real church.

* * *

Next door, Lisa walked into the Simpson house, trudging in and laying down on the couch in their living room.

"Lisa! Welcome home!" her mother said. "How was Sunday school?"

"Meh," Lisa commented, staring at the ceiling, feeling very drained. She handed her mother the bag Maude had given her. "Here," she said simply.

"Oh, from Maude, huh?" When Lisa nodded in response, Marge smiled. "Such a nice gesture," she said before silently walking into the kitchen and dropping it in the garbage. Once she came back, she peered down at her daughter. "What is on your forehead?"

"I got a frowny sticker," Lisa muttered, mockingly.

Marge rolled her eyes, figuring Helen was behind that. "Oh, good grief."


End file.
